Friday, February 7, 2014

I'd like to punch Winter in the taco.

So here’s the thing. I work at a school when school is in session. I’m a secondary support staff educator. I’m there when the kids are there. I’m not there when they’re not there. They have not been there very much since December 20th.

I’m starting to lose my mind…

It’s been snowing and blowing and snowing and snowing and cold. So cold, in fact, that I can’t throw my kids outside to play in the snow.

…but it probably takes about 10 minutes for frostbite, amiright? That could give me possibly 8 minutes of silence…

They’re driving me nuts, but they think I’m driving them nuts.

Help me…

There are some things I’ve said too much lately:

Shut your mouth.
Don’t talk to me like that.
Say you’re sorry.
Who made this mess?
Are you going to get dressed today?
When was the last time you took a shower?
It’s snowing again.
I’m out of clean pajamas.
No, I’m not making you anymore food. You’re on your own.
Go pick that up. Come pick this up. Whose is this? Who used that?
Put your crap away.
Goddamit! Get the HELL out of here! [relax-I don’t talk to my kids like that-only to the dogs when they’re in the kitchen or just in my way in general, like all the fucking time]
How long have you been playing that game!?!??
Pretend I’m not really sitting here.

And some things I’m probably not going to be saying for a while:

Wow, I haven’t cleaned up shit in a long time.
I love the snow! It’s so pretty!
I could really use a day off.
We haven’t had a good winter in years.
I can’t believe how long that tank of propane lasted!
Let’s play Monopoly.
I just haven’t had time to do anything around the house.
I can’t believe people are clearing the grocery store shelves because of a little snow storm.
You’re the only kid I know who’s not a pain in the ass.
I’m happy you’ve got that video game to enjoy.

Make me feel better by telling me something you won’t be saying for a while….or something you’ve said too much…


  1. Oh man, do I ever feel ya! All this great snow, at least 2 feet deep in my backyard (which is on a hill) but too cold for sledding. SO much together time, and everyone's nerves getting a little ragged around the edges. We are at the point where we even HAVE played monopoly! You want to know the words I uttered last night? Lets go to Monster Truck Jam. (never thought I saw that one coming) but it was inside, I have boys, it was something we haven't watched on tv 50 zillion times or played 100 million, and it was out of the house.... and get this, it was SO FUN. Totally worth it. My vote is for get out of the house... anywhere. Worked for us.

  2. if you want to check out my review, I'm over at

  3. Living in Canada. Lots of snow days. Still haven't reached the limit, but it's probably not far off . . . :)


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